January 2, 2008

My Sundown

2008 has arrived.
4 years and 11 months until the world ends according to the Mayans.

So here it is, 2008, I'm worried. This will be the year that defines me. Years from now I'll look back and realize that 2008 is when I changed my life, good or bad. So naturally, I'm nervous. There are so many things I need to do this year. I need get back on the right track, I need to get back into school. Unfortunately, being $1400 in the hole and not being able to get a student loan puts a damper on the situation. I mean, for the first 18 years of my life I figured I'd be serving my mission when I was 19. I hadn't even thought of what would happen after my mission, I figured things would fall into place. Which is retarded. I've always had an issue planning and setting goals and all that. I need to change that this year too. I know what I'm doing now, I know what would be best for my as a profession. Thanks to Uncle John for that. Nothing like having an exact idea of what I'd be best at, something I can work towards. Now I just need to start working.
As for other things in my life. Church. I don't know, but the Church and I are having a falling out kind of. I mean, when I go to church I tend to be happier. I don't know. People in Utah just irritate me. I mean I have friends that are my friends no matter what happens. I'm just too curious, I mean I want to go out and ask people if they'd be apart of the church if they weren't born members. I don't know I'm just have questions and stuff. And people don't like me for this? Screw that. Sorry I am my own person. That's my deal with the church, I feel like I was brain washed. I feel like 'd be going and bringing in another 10% per salary If I went on my mission. Which is probably wrong, I mean a lot of people in the church are really happy. I mean that's why I still am a member. A lot of the basic ideas of the church are absolutely right on. I totally believe in the family, that's #1 on my list. I mean, with all the divorce and family's breaking up, the family is deteriorating. I mean, I'm scared for my kids. I'm scared for my nieces and nephew. The world is jacked, and they have to grow up right in the middle.
It's like I want to leave America, and it has nothing to do with the war or Bush or anything political really. It's all about the negitive attitude of my generation. I mean, we look at everything bad, and we do nothing about it. I'm not saying I kick out money or support all these things. I'm saying, my generation is all talk, no action. I get out there, I've signed petitions for things I'm passionate about. I'm going to get out and vote for the next president. I'm trying to become more politically involved. All in all, I want to leave. I want to go somewhere else. I'm going to go somewhere else. Africa is calling for me more and more, and once I get a degree, I'm out. Sorry America, but I rather raise my kids anywhere but here.
So that's what's going on in my mind right now. I worked all New Years, so BEYAW to that. Seacrest out.

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