Thought I'd Never Call?

I'm doing a lot better today. Thanks greatly in part to Kelli, Scrubs, and the Blood Diamond soundtrack. To thing a movie soundtrack helped put things into perspective for me. Then Kelli came through and we had a seriously relieving/hilarious conversation. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Gilgobobbob is all I have to say. Then Scrubs is just freaking hilarious. Yep. I'm doing better.

Sitting on the Edge of the World...

Sometimes life throws you immense curve balls. We're talking you've got a 3-2 count and you know he's going to bring heat down the middle and he throws a Barry Zito status curve and you can do nothing but listen to the sound of the ball hitting the catchers glove and walk back to the dug out blinking. I mean things were chugging along nicely, and all of the sudden I slid my car into a curb. This ends up costing $350, which you don't have cause you're financially retarded and bought a camera [that you need when it boils down to it, but priorities]. Then you find out a sheriff showed up at your apartment and you have an outstanding warrant for your arrest, so you call the guy and head to the justice department and HAVE to over draw your account or you're going to jail. This blows. Then your Dad decides to drop "UVSC has been calling and sending mail" and you end up owing like $1,700 to them. Did I mention rent is due next week? Yeah that's another $300. Then, you figure what the hell lets check what the credit card balance is. OH. $988? That's it? Hmm. That puts me $3,500 in the shits over the last week. I make $1,000 a month, $300 for rent, $70 for my phone, and we'll say $100 for gas and $100 for food. That's $570. So I have $430 to spare. Rounding up with interest, it'll take me ten months to pay all my shit living how I am now. That puts me at Dec. 08/Jan 09 Debt free. Which puts me in school Spring 2009. Which puts me back in debt god only knows how much, unless I manage to get a grant. Which, generaly speaking means I wasted somewhere around 12,000 dollars between graduating and actually, legitimatly starting college. Almost 3 years. Yeah. So this all crashes on me. Then we factor in the fact that my Dad probably makes the same, give or take, as me and has a $500 a month car, which will be gone in the coming months, which means the Jetta goes to him. Which means I need another car, which with my credit means I'm fucked. I really just want to escape to Boston, but honestly that won't escape my situation here. I still haven't gotten a call back from the movie theater, which I can't prove my citizenship for anyways cause my SSCard and Birth Certificate are in storage in CA, and heaven only knows when this will be available for my access. Probably never. So it's come down to me finding at least one more job, possibly two. So, generously, I'll be working 80 hours a week, for what I'm guess is less then $8 an hour. We'll say I get 3 jobs, $8 p/h, work 40 then 20 and 20, that puts me at $1280 bi-weekly, $1900 when I take off costs of living. This pays off my crap by summer.

All of this doesn't even solve MY problem. MY problem is I hate Utah. I hate it here. HATE. Everything about it. Honestly. The smallest little things just bug the hell out of me. I need to leave. NEED. The thing is I don't want to come back if I leave. Nothing makes me want to be here. I mean, I have a couple friends here, but that's it. I can count the people i hang out with on a weekly basis on one hand. I'm 19, I think that number should be a little bit bigger. Just a wee bit. My social life pertains to going over to either Nate's or Jana's and just sitting there, watching movies or TV or whatever. I mean I've been out on one legit date since May, and it was an IOU situation. I mean, I honestly almost think it might have been worth it to just move to Washington. At least I wouldn't be surrounded by constant douche-baggery there. Well I would be, but a different kind of douche-baggery. Honestly, I don't even know what the hell I'm doing. I mean, I have my shinning little career goal, and it's I know via professional help that it is the appropriate career choice. But getting to that goal is becoming more and more difficult.

SO as I sit here, spewing all of this nonsense to the handful of people who actually give a crap, I just want to make sure one thing is completely clear. I don't want any freaking help solving my problems. I'm 19, I've been on my own for a year and a half, I got myself into this. I'm getting myself out. I don't want money. If you send me money, it's going to the first homeless person I find. And I know where they hang out in Provo. I mean, if you must, send me giant ass boxes of pop tarts and rice krispies treats. But at least wait till I finish the other one! I'm going to figure this out, and whether it takes 5 months or 10, I'm going to be alright. I just wish I could figure this out somewhere NOT Provo. [If you are going to provide me with non financial help, you can try I guess]

mmmm

I Like Me Some Water

Kelli Requested

So here I am. I'm doing pretty good lately, a lot of things are going in a positive direction in my life. Which is good. I dropped a bomb yesterday, but we'll see if it hits the appropriate target on Sunday. It's up to one of my students who has branched out on his own, but still knows he owes me a favor or two. Yes, we will see how that progresses :). BUT anyways, It's freaking Saturday, and I've got like one thing kind of planned. We'll see what happens. I was hoping I'd get to hang out with someone not Nate or the guys, but I have an itching suspision that I will end up spending my evening with them.


Just a little FYI, for those of you who haven't heard the new version of "Wanna be Startin' Something" by Michael Jackson ft. Akon, it's freaking sick. Go listen to it. It's on Perez Whit.


Oh ho. I got my new camera. I've been going crazy with the pictures and the videos. Gonna go try and record me playing piano right now. We'll see what happens. That's pretty much what's going on.

Hair

I think I'm gonna cut my hair tomorrow too. Don't know what I'm going for exactly, but we shall see what happens

#50

This is my 50th post. Yay? So I went to a concert tonight, it was really incredible. I mean everyone did amazing. I was really pleased. Ryan Tedder, the lead vocalist from OneRepublic has a truly incredible voice. I mean this guy sings to perfection. I was really pleased with my new guilty pleasure Eric Hutchinson. He was like, "I know you all came for OneRepublic, but act like you enjoy my music please." Hilarious. His T-shirts all said "Eric Hutchinson is pretty good," which I found hilarious. I actually met him and we talked a little before I got him to sign my ticket and take a quick picture with me (i'll throw it in down below). Ivy League also performed, and they were awesome. You couldn't really hear the vocalist, but they still rocked. Another band played, and I have no clue who they were, but they sounded way good.

So two things really struck me tonight. The first of which is this: People who buy band shirts then put them on before the concert actually beings are tools. I hate these people. LAME. LAME. LAME. The other realization is this: Apparently I should be in the music industry. Cause some girl came up to me while I waited to talk to Eric and was like "Hey, you're in the band right? Can I get your autograph." I was seriously like "Wait what? No, no, I'm not in the bad sorry." She was SO embarrassed. I WAS embarrassed. At the same time though, my ego was like, "Hell yes I'm in the band, get me a sharpy and I'll sign whatever you want me too." Ha ha. All in all a really good night.

Two other things. Tomorrow I'm shaving the mustache, and I'm gonna start doing my hair, I'm now on a quest for the appropriate style.

Me And Eric Hutchinson.
My camera on my phone is delayed so our faces are like classic

Tools wearing OneRepublic shirts before the show even started

Loaded

No I'm not rich, I'm actually living on 6 cents right now (no I don't need money sister). I'm refering to the board game Loaded Questions. This is easily the best game ever made. When played correctly, it's just a fun/funny game like unto Apples to Apples. When played in what we will refer to as "Raintree Style", it's easily the funniest game ever. I mean grossly inappropriate, South Park funny.
Our version goes as follows. You each get an answer sheet and a pen. You write your name on the paper. One person then picks a car from the stack, and picks their favorite question. Everyone but the person who picked the question fills in an answer and passes it to a person who then reads the answers out loud. The person who drew the car then guesses who wrote which answer. Hopefully you get a sense of how the game is played. Now I'll give you a sample of a question and I typical "Raintree Style" answer.

Q: What animal would you least like to see charging at you over an open field?
A: A Stingray
You see, this answer may not make sense to anyone outside of our little group. Unfortunately, the freak accident that caused Steve Irwin's death (he died via a sting ray stabbing him in the heart) is a running joke in my group of friends. Tasteless...yes. Hilarious...absolutely. One day we will inherit a video camera and film a round or two of Loaded Questions.

Playing Loaded

Yessir

Most Recent Picture
Most Recent Shopping Experience

Sad Clowns <3

My Sundown

2008 has arrived.
4 years and 11 months until the world ends according to the Mayans.

So here it is, 2008, I'm worried. This will be the year that defines me. Years from now I'll look back and realize that 2008 is when I changed my life, good or bad. So naturally, I'm nervous. There are so many things I need to do this year. I need get back on the right track, I need to get back into school. Unfortunately, being $1400 in the hole and not being able to get a student loan puts a damper on the situation. I mean, for the first 18 years of my life I figured I'd be serving my mission when I was 19. I hadn't even thought of what would happen after my mission, I figured things would fall into place. Which is retarded. I've always had an issue planning and setting goals and all that. I need to change that this year too. I know what I'm doing now, I know what would be best for my as a profession. Thanks to Uncle John for that. Nothing like having an exact idea of what I'd be best at, something I can work towards. Now I just need to start working.
As for other things in my life. Church. I don't know, but the Church and I are having a falling out kind of. I mean, when I go to church I tend to be happier. I don't know. People in Utah just irritate me. I mean I have friends that are my friends no matter what happens. I'm just too curious, I mean I want to go out and ask people if they'd be apart of the church if they weren't born members. I don't know I'm just have questions and stuff. And people don't like me for this? Screw that. Sorry I am my own person. That's my deal with the church, I feel like I was brain washed. I feel like 'd be going and bringing in another 10% per salary If I went on my mission. Which is probably wrong, I mean a lot of people in the church are really happy. I mean that's why I still am a member. A lot of the basic ideas of the church are absolutely right on. I totally believe in the family, that's #1 on my list. I mean, with all the divorce and family's breaking up, the family is deteriorating. I mean, I'm scared for my kids. I'm scared for my nieces and nephew. The world is jacked, and they have to grow up right in the middle.
It's like I want to leave America, and it has nothing to do with the war or Bush or anything political really. It's all about the negitive attitude of my generation. I mean, we look at everything bad, and we do nothing about it. I'm not saying I kick out money or support all these things. I'm saying, my generation is all talk, no action. I get out there, I've signed petitions for things I'm passionate about. I'm going to get out and vote for the next president. I'm trying to become more politically involved. All in all, I want to leave. I want to go somewhere else. I'm going to go somewhere else. Africa is calling for me more and more, and once I get a degree, I'm out. Sorry America, but I rather raise my kids anywhere but here.
So that's what's going on in my mind right now. I worked all New Years, so BEYAW to that. Seacrest out.