I just want to emphasize, despite the fact I usually come here to unload my frustrations, I am thankful for everything I have and the opportunities I have. I can sit here and complain about my girl issues, but hey, at least I have a great girl to have issues with, and good friend to complain about her to. I am lucky enough to have two jobs, and yeah one sucks but it's better than nothing. 

If I may, I'd like to be selfish for once and say that I worked hard and only through a lot of blood and sweat did I manage to be as comfortable as I am today. 

Yada yada etc.

It looks like spring is finally coming. I'm in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, with my window open wide, letting the sounds of the neighborhood fill my ears. I'm in a decent mood,  hoping I can put as much space between myself and the winter blues that plagued me for the last few months.

That being said, I've made no forward progression in my personal life. Sometimes I feel like it's more of a convenience thing for me now. It's inconveniently convenient. Yet time in time again I am reminded of why I got into this situation in the first place. It's hard to walk away from something that feels so right. It's even harder when you see that person everyday.

But with a new job on the horizon, who knows what might happen. I think it will be the end. Or the beginning. We'll see

I Probably Hate You Right Now

I'm sick:

• of people who are in/have been in shitty relationships trying to give me advice.
• of being a side show, a convenience, a solution to a distance problem, a solution to sexual needs, a shoulder to cry on.... 
• just thinking about how pathetic I've been the last few months. 
• of feeling like I'm not worth it. In my bones, just FEELING it.
• of hearing the words "I really like you"

and generally speaking:


I'm sick of being a boyfriend, but not having a girlfriend.

Nope. I can't. Damn

Inhale

I can do this. 

Exhale

Two weeks has never looked this long before.