More

Blah blah blah. I'm so bored. I seriously have nothing to do. Well, at least until 6 PM. Then usually I can get something together. This makes me realize that I need to get out and do something, but with who? All my friends either a) Don't live here, or b) Have school/work/better things to do. People tell me to get out and make new friends or whatever. Screw that. Honestly, even if I do, they will just a) move, or b) have school/work/better things to do. I might as well stop myself from wasting time. The problem is, I could easily afford to waste some time. Blehhhhhh.

SO anyways, I'm seriously considering murdering two of my room mates. They're like the tag team from hell. One of them is an egotistical prick who thinks he's king of the world because he's a part time model and he's dating another part time model and yada yada yada. My freaking question is, If you're the sex god of the world, why the heck do you whine about how you have no money and you have to pay all these bills and cry cry cry. Maybe if you didn't waste all your gas going to see your girlfriend who lives an hour away every weekend you'd have some spare cash around. ON the other hand, we have Mr. Mormon self righteous I look down on everyone. Honestly. EX. I ask to borrow something and the egotistical prick starts whining about how he has no money and boo who and he doesn't say anything. Then I make some waffles and Self Righteous gives me "Hey Ryan are you going to offer us some waffles". The only thing I feel like offering is the left side of my right foot to the right side of his face. Honestly could you be any more hypocritical? All of this combined has led me to move my computer to Nate's apartment. This means I spend all of my time there except for when I sleep. I'd move in with Nate, but previous roommate "The Dangler" is being a homo and "Can't climb the stairs". After two months of rehab? PLEASE.

Anyways, I need a vacay. Which is why I'm going on one. Sooner then expected actually, I moved it up from October to September. I'd leave today, but September sounds better!

^
I dress well sometimes (thanks to my sister and co.)

Everything is going alright so far this week. Yay! I had a super active weekend, so I'm really sore, but ya, life's OK.

Good times

Over the last week, I've had family in town from out of state. The whole Wilson clan was here matter of fact. Good times. It's unfortunate that we don't all live closer together, but I believe my sister when she say's we'd eventually be at eachothers throats. Anyways, now my life has become completely repetitive. Work, food (or lack there of), and maybe something with the fatties. Yay!

Clarity

I think it's incredible how cruel life can be, yet how you can just open your window, look outside, and smile. I've been tossing around a couple things in my head, and I can't seem to make up my mind about any of them. Being indecisive is an utterly crushing state of mind. I hate it. It's makes it impossible for me to plan anything, and that leads me to believe that I have no clue what I'm going to do with myself over the next couple years. Yet here I am, unmistakably enjoying myself. The future may look bleak, but I'm happy now, and confident that I will be in future "nows". I stayed up late last night, woke up early this morning, and here I am, writing to you (whoever you are). I float around other websites and blogs and what not, and I notice how the majority of random people use blogs to describe their feelings of sadness and whatnot. Sure, the occasional person has the "Yay I got the new job" or "I'm in Love" blog or whatever. They come few and far between. It's hard for me not to be happy for some reason, I don't really understand. It's not because I look at third world countries and say "Wow, I'm so blessed to be here in America and have all these things at my finger tips." That isn't a reason to be happy. That's a reason to have compassion and give some of your time and effort and thought to those of us who aren't as blessed as we are. I don't want to say I'm an optimist anymore, because to me being an optimist means you are lifeless. It means no matter what, you're always happy. I think that everyone needs to be sad, angry, or depressed sometimes. Everyone needs to mourn. At the same time though, anyone who can't sit down and realize that there is always something worth smiling about is dumb. I know I'm just spewing things out of my mind (via my fingers) right now, but I just needed to type this stuff off my chest.
Anyways, my sister and her family arrive today, and I fully expect to be without the internet until Sunday. Totally worth it. I'm quite excited to spend time with them, things are much more exciting and fun when all my family is around. I'm sure they will appreciate a break from Graham as well, seeing as my Dad will be "taking" him for the entire weekend. I think I'm OK with that, because I'm going to be with him all this week while my Dad is at work, and I am the only one in the family who has met the little guy. I was looking closely at the family picture we took 2 years ago. It's incredible how much I've changed in 2 years. I mean, for one, I look MUCH better in my opinion. I look so chubby in the picture. I think it's funny when I look at myself now and then, I always appreciate my hair more too. It is leaving, I need to appreciate it more. I look older, even wiser, though I feel like that is too strong a word. I have learned so much in these last two years, it certainly shows. At the same time, It's incredible how happy I look. I mean, that year wasn't exactly amazing. Maybe it's because I'm with my family, I'm not sure. Hopefully this next week I can be just as happy, considering I feel like I'm running on a half empty tank.

Clarity: The quality or state of being clear
I'm sure you're wonder why that's the title of my blog. Well, for one, it's what I'm in need of. I need clarity in my life. For two, it's a really, REALLY good John Mayer song.

More stars...

So we went to continue watching the meteor shower tonight, only with more people. Good times, even though we separated because some people are dumb. Anyways, me and Nate we're on the ball tonight, I had a lot of fun. This only caps one of the better weekends of my young life. Here are some pictures!Nate and I

Wellllll

It's kinda funny how life works. Someone you adore is leaving and life throws one of the best weekends ever at you. Interesting. For the record, I'm quite good at Halo2, and Halo3's bones will be mine! Anyways, One more week till it's mad family time! And, for you whit if you're reading, here is a picture of Afton and I. Ya, it's graphic. Sorry!

Floatin

So the past two nights I've spent all night with my girly, and honestly they are two of the best nights of my life. I'm really happy and content right now, I feel like If I let myself, I could just float away. It's totally crazy how I dated all these girls, and I almost always felt like somethings missing, and the girl I hung with tonight just fills in those voids. She's like my other half, it's incredible. I'm still sad she's moving, but I'm almost sure that somehow we'll cross paths again, I can just feel it in my gut.

Ugh

Sooooooo this whole next week is going to suck (right up until my sister gets here). One of my bestest friends/the girl I've fallen in love with is moving Saturday. I seriously don't know how I'm going to react, because I've really put all I have left emotionally (when it comes to relationships) into us. At the same time though, I know it will be better for her back in Washington (st). That doesn't make it any less sad. Spending all/most of this morning with her for what might be the last time ever helps, albeit a little. It sucks that you have to follow up such an amazing night with something like work and the possibility you'll never see someone you love again...

Been a long time now...

Well it's been a while sense I posted, I totally forgot my password and I was too lazy to make a new one. Anyways, I can't deny life is good. I mean I am too blessed to say otherwise. Yet at the same time, my whole world seems to be crumbling underneath me. When has that ever stopped me though right? Ya, over the last been everything I've built has kinda fallen apart. I'm grateful I have a dependable job where I can get any amount of hours I want, and I really don't do too much for most of my shift.
Update wise, I've postponed my mission till after Christmas due to multiple reasons. We'll just say I don't want to go, cause that's people tend to believe. I really hate this Utah mentality thing. Sorry people, I'm not dumb enough to go on my mission just because I turned 19. I know to many guys who got sent home because of things they've done.
Anyways though, my family is coming (possibly all of them) later this month. I'm very excited to have everyone together. I love it when my family is all together, it gives me a chance to gauge my growth, and it gives us a chance to grow together after the long absence. Very excited indeed.
Alright, on the "what I do when I'm not working" section of my life, I just bought the BBC documentary Planet Earth (see the hideous picture), and it's possibly the best purchase I've made since my digital camera. I also got the new Common album Finding Forever. It is extremely good. I vibe to it all the time.