On a day to day basis I find myself increasingly depressed, yet driven an uncanny optimism. In a cliche "glass half full/half empty" way. Honestly, as I sit here typing, I don't see myself getting through my twenties. That might sound a little heavy, but I feel precisely that bleak about my future. There's too much weight, I'm getting crushed by the pressure. I could blame it on any number of things, but I won't. It doesn't relieve the pressure.
This optimism though, It's honestly why I'm alive in the first place. I may scrape by, and be completely unhappy, but I can afford to eat and I have a bed. I can afford to waste my money on unnecessary items I use to numb the day to day. I have a job, albeit one I will probably lose.
This isn't a pity party, this is me unloading via my keyboard, so It won't consume my mind. I'm searching for a solution, but you can't accomplish much when you one person, completely alone in a city like Boston.
