Nope. I can't. Damn

Inhale

I can do this. 

Exhale

Two weeks has never looked this long before. 

Sometimes I do self destructive things. Sometimes I'm heartless, cold even. 

I've created an exterior persona since I've moved here. He doesn't have a boundary and he doesn't have a filter.  He's the "bad boy" I had to keep inside me all those years I was following the rules and playing the part and living a lie. I moved to Boston, and I let him out. And he did what he was suppose to, he broke hearts and he broke rules. 

I've been here for a year and a half, and I've been that guy almost the entire time. 

Lately, the old me is creeping back, slowly regaining control. I'm not saying I'll be going back to church or any of that. I just feel like I was happier being the good guy.

So that's what I'm going to be. 

Over Thinking

Yesterday morning I came to the conclusion that I've been thinking too much about this whole situation. So, I've stopped thinking and decided to let my heart guide me (cheesy sounding as it is, that's how I feel).

After one day, I'm much happier. Instead of dwelling on the problem, I'm just enjoying what I do have. And god do I enjoy what I have

I'm trying to be optimistic, but this really, really, sucks. I can never, ever catch a break. 

Shouldn't I be used to it by now? Shouldn't this just be another chip on the block? 

I NEED A VACATION!